What is your story?
The one you never told to anyone before.
The story of your laughs and miseries.
The story of you holding on…
To someone
Or something
Not worthy of holding onto.
The story of fear that you feared the most.
The story of loathe you loved best.
The story of you…
Who you are
And the hows and whys you became to be.
The story you gripped rock solid
With feather cotton hands
As if as your whole life depended on it.
The story that made you remember how to forget.
The story forged with the pain of history
And fear of the future.
What is it?
People on this page would be reading to know my successes, the downfall that followed, and how I managed to get up with Virtualahan. But I am more than the degree of my accomplishments and the content of my portfolio. I am a person… and this is my story.
Martyrs are made, not born.
All martyrs were once victims. As I write this autobiography, I am taken back to the earliest days of my childhood– one of the darkest moments of my life. From such an unripe age, I had to learn the ins and outs of life while needing to form my own coping-out mechanism. For survival, I consciously built invisible and invincible walls. This way, I do not have to push people away, I just have to keep them at a safe distance. I figured that the way to beat the abuse system is simply by neglecting everything inside of you dictating that it hurts… until it no longer does.
Cold-hearted and Heart of Stone: No Matter, it’s Beating.
Family and friends, acquaintances and strangers. Different sets of people with the same mindset: I am either cold-hearted or possesses a heart of stone. I did not mind… for as long as it was beating, it’s functioning; and thus, existed.
Society CAN dictate what is right but NEVER what is moral.
Twice, I was given the chance to re-introduce myself – both I did so differently and twice, I left the biggest part of how I came to be so seemingly joyful and problem-free. Even with a façade, the fear of people knowing the past still lingered. That anxiety is what made it so difficult to belong in the society. My defiance to follow the norm did nothing to help.
If I was given the chance to change anything, I would not. The lack of basis between right or wrong doesn’t mean there is no such thing. To this day, I hold onto it: right is being principled, ethical, and honorable. Anything in-between and/or contrary is wrong. It is this mindset that deserted me from the rest of the world. And I felt that separation.
2020: The year I almost broke. The year I saw myself whole.
Fast forward to the present. The pandemic postponed the plans I had towards personal and career success. The only key I see to leave all the toxicity behind. As if as that wasn’t enough, it gave more reasons for depressive tendencies. Five months in to the year and I lost more people than the months I started losing them but it was also this year that I was given another path.
Virtualahan and I: Our journey begins.
If you have reached this far, I encourage you to go further. If you asked yourself:
“Where is this going?”
“What is he on to about?”
Here it is.
Virtualahan gave me a reset button. Here at Virtualahan, I was not judged – I was welcomed not despite of, but in spite of all the baggage I carry with me. They did not introduce me to a community, Virtualahan gave me a family.
I am not happy I became a PWD at the peak of my life, but I am glad I came across an incorporation who not only aimed to advocate but did so successfully.
I am Zeus Exequiel Seth Millora Oliveros. Alongside Virtualahan, I will continue to evolve, ro inspire, and to advocate.
O.Z.E.S.M.
Team 36
